Categories
RE:

RE: Parasocial Relationships

I’m starting a new series of short-form posts called “RE:” that weigh in on a topic in 300 words or less, based on the principle that it’s better to blog something than nothing at all. Enjoy this first entry!

Here’s something I’ve been thinking about.

I’ve been listening to Brandon Sanderson and Dan Wells’ talk-about-anything podcast, Intentionally Blank (2021–), and I think I’m starting to build a relationship with these guys. A one-sided relationship, of course, but in some ways it’s similar to a real one. I’m excited to hear their takes on the latest media, and I recognize the names of their college friends they’ve mentioned on the show. I have a decent idea of Brandon’s daily schedule and what kind of books Dan might appreciate as a gift.

Media scholars and psychologists have a term for this—“parasocial relationships”, which were the topic of a literature review I wrote back when I was a psychology major. Emotionally, these “relationships” with celebrities or fictional characters share some features of “normal” social relationships, like loyalty, comfort, and even “breakup” (like that feeling of finishing the last book in a series).

New mass communication technologies during my lifetime alone have made it easier than ever to become a public figure or influencer and build parasocial relationships with one’s audience. Though I’m not convinced that this is a new phenomenon; buying mass-produced 役者絵 (yakusha-e) prints of your favorite actors was all the rage in 1800s Japan. But who knows? Advertising has already left the social sphere and entered the parasocial, mass-media sphere. Maybe next century, we’ll all be getting educated by the Green brothers, and parasocial teaching relationships will replace social ones.

Are parasocial relationships harmful, or are they just a part of living in the digital age? What famous “friends” do you have? Let me know in the comments!

Categories
Personal Update

Fragments

I have a hard time with labels when it comes to mental health challenges. The CDC says that over 50% of Americans will be diagnosed with a mental illness or disorder in their life*, and that’s not even counting those who don’t get a diagnosis. Some people have it harder than others–I’m no stranger to that–but I think the many faces of what we in the 21st century call mental illness are a part of the human condition that every one of us has to deal with in some way or another. The world’s literature can attest to that.

For me, like anyone, some days are harder than others. The other day, I went for a walk and found myself looking up at the mountains and thinking about all the holes in my life. As I passed by a suburban house, I saw a family in the front yard. One of the kids tossed a soccer ball at her older sister, who was on crutches. She swung one of the crutches at the ball and knocked it flying.

I’m not sure why that moment touched me like it did. Perhaps it’s the simple story of life. Everyone bears wounds: some shallow, some deep. But we find a way to keep living, and do it beautifully.

*https://www.cdc.gov/mentalhealth/learn/index.htm

Categories
Personal Update

Saying Yes

You can’t try everything before you die, but you might as well die trying.

A couple months ago, I read a lovely little biography/devotional book by Mike Donehey, one of my favorite Christian musicians. One of the suggestions he gave was to just be willing to say yes to everything that comes your way. I think the tie-in to Christian living was about allowing God to use you in the way He needs to, and He can’t do that if you’re not willing to take the opportunities He gives you. I’m a firm believer that, as Paul wrote, “Prove all things; hold fast that which is good” (1 Thess. 5:21). So I decided to give it a shot.

“Do you want to try rolling the sushi?” Why yes—not that I’ve ever rolled a sushi roll in my life before, and it will most certainly not be the most beautifully rolled sushi that has ever existed, but there’s a first time for everything. Should we go to the opera? Sure, let’s send it; I could use a good opera education. Road trip? Absolutely. Give blood? I wonder how that feels. Part-time research job? Sounds like a good idea. Go country dancing? I can at least pretend that I’m coordinated. Listen to jazz for a week? Prepare to get clobbered by tritone substitutions. Discussion group for a new history book? I loved that stuff in high school. Orchestra and local music concerts? Add to cart. Join the mariachi band? I can’t have stage anxiety forever.

I’m not writing this to make myself sound awesome, but because there’s nothing I can recommend more highly to someone trying to make sense of life in the liminal spaces. I can see the difference that trying to say no to fear has made in my life. I notice so much more of the world’s beauty, and that’s why I write this little blog. I don’t think I’ll ever be done. What will happen when I give painting a shot? Frisbee golf? Karaoke? Reading random cases from the law library? Mock swordfighting? Coding in Python?

Of course it’s impossible to say yes to everything—saying yes to an economics book was a hefty reminder that opportunity cost brings everything to a screeching halt—and there are certainly things that one shouldn’t say yes to. But I’ll be the first one to attest that life is so much richer since, when confronted with the unfamiliar, I’ve started making “yes” rather than “no” the first response on my lips. ∎